I was face to face with the spawn of Nell’s Lacuna. The colours of the flower-headed creature settled into a pure white as it stood eerily still. The edges of the petals were softly round and the center became a bright yellow.
“You’re a dandelion,” I said meekly.
“I’m a mistake,” the Dandelion said.
Its voice was a cacophony of popping sounds, all pitched differently yet working together to make discernable words.
“As are all my kin. Mother didn’t mean to make us, but, swept up in her grief, she let new instincts take over. Grief over you. Yet here you are. Breathing.”
A lump formed in my throat. “I’m sorry. I- I couldn’t keep my promise.”
Blue spots appeared on Dandelion’s face, growing larger until they took over the white, leaving only thin strips along the petals.
“Save your air, human. Or better yet, lay down and decompose into the soil. Your apology means nothing to me. Me and my sisters didn’t ask to be born, but now that this course of events has set in motion, we will see it through. To fulfill our purpose.”
The club door banged open and Daria ran out. Her eyes drifted up to the sky where the spawn were slowly spinning down to earth like ballerina dancers. Daria sank to her knees.
“No,” she uttered in despair. “We won’t last.”
“Then don’t last,” Dandelion replied. “Give up. Let this new nature take its course. The world is already changing in ways that can’t be undone. Struggling now may only serve to make the end result uglier.”
My face burned with shame as I stared at the cold concrete scattered with snow. I couldn’t shake the cold truth that sat nestled in an empty hole within me. This is my fault.
Dandelion turned back to white and its face tilted up to catch the snowflakes.
“There is a beauty in a quiet death. Flowers frozen mid-bloom, untouched by decay. The winter suits a weed like me.”
I looked up at it.
“You… like winter?” I asked through cracked lips.
“Like? I don’t like anything. But winter is the season of endings, fitting for the end of cruel humanity. We’ll grow something better after your kind is gone.”
I turned away, my heart twisting into strange shapes as I looked down the road to where it was swallowed up by darkness.
It felt like I’d just plunged into cold water, waking up my senses. I didn’t believe that Nell wanted this. I refused to. But I’d been so caught up in the guilt and sadness, I’d just been doing what I had always done before. Fight, bleed, repeat.
I took a hesitant step towards that darkness.
“Thinking of running?” Dandelion asked. “Good. I don’t want to see your face for another second.”
“Nick!” Daria called out.
The Lacuna pulsed and I felt like I was underwater, the pressure crushing me into a wet puddle.
Daria winced. “Damnit… Nil. Where are you going? We need your help.”
I turned back to face a Daria that looked more frightened than I’d ever seen her before.
“People keep telling me that I need to live for myself. I kept wondering what that means and now that I’m like this, I think it’s time to try.”
Daria’s face twisted in confusion and hurt. “Are you abandoning us?”
“I have to try something different. All these what-ifs in my head are chains. What if people get hurt? What if they die because I wasn’t there?”
A strong gust of wind drove a flurry of snowflakes into the air between us.
“Daria, if I’m being honest, I don’t really care if the world ends. I don’t know if I ever cared. I think I was just afraid of what people would think of me if I acted selfishly. But I have to let go now. I’m truly sorry. If this means I’m no longer your friend, I’ll…”
I choked out the words. “I’ll understand. But you’ll always be a friend to me. I think this is my last chance. There won’t be another one later. So I’m going to do it. I’m going to abandon any and all expectations and just do what I want. And what I want is to go find her.”
I pointed to Nell’s Lacuna.
Daria’s red hair blew in front of her face. Her lip trembled. Then she raised her head and faced me, eyes wet.
“Go.”
“Thank you,” I said softly. “And if I don’t come back-”
Daria shook her head. “It doesn’t matter.”
She wiped away her tears and bared her teeth in a defiant smile.
“We’ll win. For Neve. For Nell. For you. So go.”
I forced myself to turn away. Then I broke into a run, because somehow that was easier than going slow. I could feel something like hands pressing against my back, pushing me forward. Like my friends were still with me.
As the distance between us stretched wider, I could still faintly hear Daria speak to Dandelion, “Alright you little weed. Nell would never say those things to Nil. I liked it better when flowers didn’t talk.”
Soon, there was nothing. No city. No screams. No voices. Just the pulsations of Nell’s Lacuna moving through the dark like some leviathan at the bottom of the ocean.
I could feel it now, in my bones. A path to her would open.
We wouldn’t be apart for long.