The sound of a deep vibration, a thrum, like the lowest notes of an organ woke me. My cheek pressed against a cold, hard floor. The thrum was so low it hurt to listen to, like I shouldn’t be able to hear it and yet the vibrations were forcing themselves to be heard. It seemed to signal unrest, like rage buried beneath a calm composure, violence waiting to be unlocked.
I opened my eyes and pushed myself up off the smooth gray floor. It appeared to be made of a single stone so massive it stretched far and wide across this vast space. From the floor sprouted huge white pillars and eruptions of carmine crystals that were a pale red like blood mixed into snow. The sky was not the sky, but a semi-translucent membrane, like what I saw when sunlight hit the back of my eyelids. Veins threaded across like lightning bolts frozen in time.
I shivered, hugging my sore, naked body. My bare feet made a shh sound as I shuffled towards the closest crystal. Heat emanated from it and I warmed my hands on its smooth surface. Looking up, I saw a dark shadow within, like a fly trapped in amber, its shape ill-defined due to the crystal’s facets, which refracted light in strange ways.
The pillars of ivory ascended far into the sky and then came together, meeting at a point and then spilling out into thin spirals and straight lines, a mosaic of white bone equal parts a cathedral’s vaulted ceiling and a ribcage.
“This doesn’t feel real,” I whispered.
The thrum fleshed out the endless plane as if keeping the walls at bay, making me doubt I was dreaming.
I picked a direction and started to walk. The ache in my bones grew softer as I warmed up from moving.
Then there was a click and my foot sank down further than I was expecting. A new note joined the others, suitably discordant. I looked down at the white block my foot had pressed like a switch.
When nothing else happened, I moved on. As I traveled further, the crystals grew more numerous, some even biting into the flooring in places. Soon, the gray stone gave way entirely to crystalline structures.
I looked down through it and saw hundreds of the shadowy shapes, each at different depths. It seemed to go down forever. It was as if the crystals had been an ocean of blood, sweeping up everything before freezing into solid ice. Although it wasn’t cold like ice, it was hot under the pads of my feet and the vibrations emanating from the crystal made it feel alive.
It took concentration to see the edges so as to avoid tripping on crystals that sat at different elevations.
I walked past another white block inlaid into the crystal, and saw that there was a wire traveling from the stone down into the crystal. Then I took a step to my right and the light aligned.
The shadow closest to the surface was a person. An eye, staring up at me, bloodshot, trembling, the person was alive but unable to even breathe. The thrum intensified as if acknowledging that I’d seen the truth.
As if my sight had been cleared, I stared down into the abyss and now saw that this was a tomb. Strings ran through each of the people encased in crystal and they hummed when the keys were struck. Hundreds of people, maybe thousands, encased in a living death.
My stomach turned and I ran.
Plonk. I stepped on another key and a note of rage thrummed through the stone. Thunk. Another hammer struck, a string trembled, shaking out the note of its victim.
I ran without stopping, even when my breathing became ragged. Some of the people were close enough to the surface that I could see their expressions. Their eyes followed me, hating me, teeth bared in animalistic animosity.
I ran and ran, unable to escape. It was a nightmare, a world born of imagination, without the rules that governed reality, no limits on space or time.
I was a part of this place. I couldn’t escape it like I couldn’t escape my own body.
Then I came to a stop in front of a pond of liquid blackness that shone like oil. Because the floor was see-through I could tell that the pond had no bottom.
A pillar of crystal extended out of the middle of the pond and at the top was an intricately crafted throne. One depicting cherubim around the head and devils being crushed beneath the base.
The Marquess sat upon it. His flesh was blackened in a sunburst shape that fanned out from his hand where he had been pricked by poison. His skin writhed and occasionally a rat would wriggle its way free to then slip back in at a different spot, leaving no holes.
He pointed wordlessly and stepping stones of crystal emerged from the pond. I took them, not fearing the dark depths. I stopped on the last one and it ascended up to the Marquess. As it did so, the crystal began to Shape into a throne identical to the Marquess’. The notes of the organ continued to play, eternally holding the same notes in a wordless dirge.
Once I was level with him, I sat.
The Marquess parted his lips and they cracked visibly from the movement.
“I…” he rasped, “I was not expecting this.”
He chuckled with effort. “How could I? God’s plan is forever veiled from mankind. Although, I don’t believe we are merely human anymore, are we, Cecily?”
My lip curled. “I don’t know what you are, but we are not the same.”
He smiled. “Two sides of a coin, opposed and yet part of the same being? I like that.”
He leaned back and closed his eyes. “I must confess a sin to you. Once we ascended, I expected to hear the voice of God. I was saddened to hear only silence. What other trials remain for us to complete?”
He opened one eye to look at me. “We made this together, you and I. It heeds your will as well. Perhaps we need to combine our efforts to complete the trial.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Reach out and feel the power. Let it take Shape.”
I closed my eyes and leaned back on the throne. The thrum coursed through the back of my head. I willed it to change and to my surprise, it did. The notes spread out, becoming points of contact through which I could see the entirety of the Shape.
I gasped and my eyes flew open as I perceived our entirety.
“What do you see?”
“Everything,” I said. There was a little ball of blue, a marble lost in the dark. It felt like I could reach out to that tiny orb and crack it with gentle pressure. “I see the whole world beneath us. I feel every minute piece of this Shape we reside in. I see it all.”
“I see the same, Cecily.”
A tear slipped from my eye as I watched the world turn. There was so much to life that I had never gotten to experience. Entire lands full of possibilities untouched. All because the man sitting across from me and the monstrous people that had ripped my brother to pieces.
My anger sang in synchronous harmony with the rest.
“I feel it, Cecily. Come, we have been appointed arbiters by God. We must enact a punishment on the Earth. They have forgotten how great His power is. That is why we do not hear Him.”
I found amongst the thrum a black and heavy note that sat upon the others. I gritted my teeth and seized it, trying to silence it.
The Marquess’ chair lurched a foot closer to the oily waters. His eyes darted down and then up at me.
“Cecily!” he cried out. “What are you doing?”
“You won’t have your way!” I shouted. I wrestled with the string in my head, willing it to quiet down and join the others. It burned me back, pain flashing in my head as the Marquess rose back up to face me.
“It is not my will! Not yours either! Do not try to fight it!” he shouted, eyes bulging as he leaned forward, almost toppling from the throne.
I leaned in too, clenching the arms of my seat so hard I heard a crack.
Despite his words, it was his will that clashed against mine. God was nowhere to be seen, heard, or felt. The thrum rose in volume, in reaction to our conflict, thundering across the open plane in a cascade of echoes.
“Down!” I commanded.
I thought of my father and his beautiful dyes. I thought of my brother and his soulful music. I thought of all the happiness I had experienced and used it to restrain the Marquess’ note.
He struggled back, alternating between sinking rapidly and stabilizing as he dug in his heels.
I’m stronger than him, I realized with satisfaction. I’ve always been stronger than him.
“Cecily!” he cried out, stretching out his hand as if I would reach down and save him. “I feel everything you feel! I know that hatred for the world still remains! God planted that seed. It is righteous! You haven’t forgiven them for what they did to you, nor should you! You should unleash that wrath. Why fight for the sinful wretches?”
My chest felt hollow. “Why? I… don’t know.”
The Marquess chuckled, gaining ground, rising a little higher. “You see? They are undeserving of your mercy.”
I growled and the drumming pulse in my head grew stronger. “You are not my equal. This Shape belongs to me and me alone. Sink.”
The Marquess’ mouth was agape and his eyes shone in awe. “I see that now! Yes! You are truly sublime!”
The crystal chair splintered as I gripped it. Warm blood trickled between my fingers. “I am in control,” I said. “You speak of God’s will, but it isn’t here. My will is. Can you feel it?” I asked mockingly.
“I do,” he whispered reverently. “I was mistaken. I was hearing the voice of God this whole time. He… She took a shape I did not understand. That is my sin.”
“Then sink.”
The Marquess bowed his head, his whole body shaking with mirth as he descended beneath the surface of oily blackness.
I leaned back against the throne, exhausted but finally alone.
But the thrum did not dissipate. It could not be quieted. It was my own.
And as I listened to it, the urge to shatter the crystal and let it all out grew more and more heavy on my soul. I wanted release. Catharsis. Blood poured out onto the whole Earth, drowning humanity in my pain, forcing it down their choking throats.
The Marquess’ voice burbled up from the pond. “Wreak havoc, my Lordess. It is your right.”
I strained against the urge, feeling so tired. “You will not have your way,” I whispered. “I will have hope. People can change.”
I willed the inconceivably massive Shape to move. It slowly turned away from the Earth, traveling further into the dark abyss.
I came to a decision.
“I will sleep,” I said. “I will rest deeply for a long time.”
My eyes fluttered and my head grew heavy.
“People will change,” I promised to myself. “Humankind will grow kinder. We just need time.”
I drifted into a dream with only the thrum and the Marquess’ quiet whispering promises of destruction to keep me company.