I slowly let the bones recede back underneath my skin, feeling like my innards were wrapped around a drill, slowly twisting tighter and tighter.
Mom whimpered, shielding her face with her hands. My dad’s expression was a block of stone.
I waited a long time for them to calm down. Then I spoke softly, tasting my tears, “I showed you this because I want you two to be safe. It won’t be safe here much longer. I need you to leave Sillwood. Tonight.”
“Slow down,” my dad said, removing his glasses and staring down at them in his shaking hands. “I… did I do this? Did the drugs change you?”
I didn’t know how to answer that. They had. He had. But explaining the nuance would take more time than we had.
“Why did you hide this from me?” Mom said, finally dropping her hands and looking at me with teary eyes.
My throat closed again and I had to take a second to fight back the tears that were on the verge of starting again. “It’s what I learned to do. We don’t talk. Do you remember that time I got into a fight with a kid in third grade? I think that was when I was labeled as ‘aggressive and impulsive’ on my school file. When we had a meeting to address the incident, I remember how furious the parents of the other kid were. Spit flying, screaming what they would do if I ever touched their kid again. You placated, you said you would talk to me about. You were both so calm. And then, on the car ride home, do you remember what you said to me?”
My dad held my gaze for a time, then shook his head. Mom was quiet, listening.
“You didn’t say anything.”
I squeezed my fists tight and then let them hang loose.
“Neither of you ever brought it up. Once we were home, you asked me what I wanted for a snack, like nothing even happened. You took all that abuse from those parents and then you just let the whole thing fade away. Except it didn’t fade for me. It etched itself into my brain. I’m not calling you bad parents-”
My dad snorted and shook his head.
I spoke louder, “I’m not calling you bad parents, but how am I supposed to tell you shit like this? And even if that wasn’t the case, what am I supposed to say?! That I’m a fucking monster?!” The increase in volume had just kept going and by the final word I was shouting, feeling like the words would never come out if I didn’t keep dragging them out with force.
Suddenly my dad stepped forward, expressionless. His glasses were clenched in his fist to the point of warping. In that moment, even though he had never ever done so, I thought he was going to hit me. Instead he grabbed me and held me close. I didn’t smell the lab on him. I only felt his warmth.
Mom’s head rested on my back as she wrapped her arms around me too.
I couldn’t see through the tears anymore. “I… think this is goodbye.”
“Whatever it is you are dealing with,” Mom murmured, “we can help.”
“You can’t. Not with this.”
I felt so stupid. Every decision in my life, stupid.
I sniffed and tried to speak coherently. “I never really felt like I belonged anywhere, not even here. But…”
“You did. You do. We can make a new home for you. You don’t need to worry.”
At that point, exhaustion stripped away my final walls and I let myself be comforted, if only for a little while.
When the tears had dried and I was seated on the couch with a cup of warm tea in my hands, I decided to try again.
“I don’t know how much time I have to explain things. My ride will be here at some point, and then I will have to go.”
“Something is happening in the city I take it?” My dad asked, leaning forward with his fingers laced. “Something monumental.”
“Yes. People like me. Shapeshifters I guess you could say, although some of them only Shapeshift others and most of them only change once. Combine that with a gang war where everyone and their mom has a gun.”
Mom laughed nervously from where she sat next to me then caught herself. “That sounds much too dangerous for you to be involved in. You should leave with us.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. There’s someone who needs my help. And the antlers you saw isn’t the only thing that’s different about me. I’m more durable than a regular human. I can get hurt and bounce back.”
Mom shook her head. “You had your problems with other kids at school and the teachers got the wrong impression about you but I knew you better. You were so soft at heart. You had trouble communicating with others, you didn’t know how to express yourself but you wanted so badly for everyone to like you. Even if you got tougher on the outside, it still hurts inside, doesn’t it?”
“Um…” It was too late for anything but honesty. I could still remember each place Aaron’s sickle had cut me. The image of my blood painting the walls of that staff hallway at the club may as well have been painted on the walls of my mind. “Yeah, it does. But I have to do this. You won’t change my mind. And I will feel infinitely better once you two are outside of the city.”
“Okay,” my dad said, rising and placing a hand on Mom’s shoulder. “We’ll go.”
Mom brushed his hand off and glared at him.
He raised his hands in peace. “What? Nick is an adult. And whatever he’s got himself into, he knows it far more intimately than we do. Isn’t that right?”
“Yeah.”
My mom had her hands balled into fists and it looked like she might start crying again.
I swallowed. “Hey, you know how growing up, you wanted me to make friends? You tried a little too hard though. The driving by the school, the forceful invitations to our house?” I grinned and a small laugh escaped Mom’s lips. “You were reported as a suspicious person. The school had to eventually tell you to stop showing up when it wasn’t for a meeting or pickup.”
“I just wanted to help,” she said sheepishly. “Mac had so many other friends. You were alone so often.”
I failed to mention that it was possible that Mac would be in the midst of the conflict too because of his job at H.E.S.P.
“Well, I have a lot more friends now. Good ones. People I’ve seen in difficult situations and they’ve shown themselves to be good, kind, reliable people. Even if their initial appearance wouldn’t give you that impression. They’re the reason I’m not losing hope. Even though things look bad right now.”
Mom leaned over and hugged me again. “Oh honey,” she murmured into my shoulder. “You’ve changed so much and I’ve been blind to it.”
I hugged her back tightly.
“Were there any signs? Any moment where I could have done something?”
“No. I don’t know. If that possibility existed, I can’t see it.”
Mom sniffed, then raised her head, a puzzled expression crossing her face. “You smell so… floral.”
I smiled and pulled my shirt to the side so the flower could spring free of its hiding place. The petals brushed my cheek.
My mom’s eyes widened. “Oh,” she tittered. “You’re full of new surprises.”
“It’s a gift from a close friend who needs my help,” I said.
She took a deep breath and smoothed out the wrinkles in her top. “Okay, we’ll leave, Nick. But you have to promise you’ll be safe.”
“Okay. Sure.”
She gave me a fiercely mothering stare.
“I promise.” As safe as I can be. Which probably isn’t even close to your standards.
“We’ll get packed up,” my dad said. “We can go on a road trip. Maybe we’ll stop by and see your cousins in Quebec.”
I saw the lights of a car pull into our driveway. “I think that’s my ride,” I said, rubbing my eyes and standing up.
“When will we hear from you?” Mom asked, her voice growing shaky again.
I shook my head. “I’m not sure. I can’t think about what comes after. I’ll call you, okay?”
She nodded and I walked to the door.
“I’m not afraid of you, Nick.”
I turned and raised an eyebrow at my father. He gazed back with eyes that shone within. What was it? Pride?
“You’ve always seemed a little afraid of me after what happened,” I said. “Afraid to speak your mind. Afraid to push me.”
“Well, it’s like you said. You’ve changed. It’s time I did too.”
I nodded. “Bye Dad. Bye Mom.”
“We’ll miss you.”
I recognized that this could go on forever if I didn’t leave now. I pushed the door open and left my old home. The night air was chilly and humid. Richard sat at the wheel of a silver sports car. I got in and looked around the interior.
“New car?”
Richard scowled. “I have more than one.”
“What was wrong with the other one?” I asked, feigning innocence while rolling down the window.
“The glass wasn’t tinted.”
I nodded and let the air play across my face as he backed onto the street.
“That, and the bullet holes. To Alek’s apartment?”
“To Alek,” I confirmed.
I felt like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Knowing that my parents were going to leave the city was a huge relief. Plus the fact that they didn’t think I was some freak that had replaced their son. Maybe on some distant day I could introduce them to Nell.
The knot in my stomach had lifted and for a moment I felt like I could drift away from my worries. But then I moved on to the next big objective.
It was time for a stakeout. Alek was going to spill his guts to us, one way or another.