~ During the Red Ring conflict ~
“I’ll talk some sense into Louis,” I said, glancing at my brother with distaste. “Now go!”
Nick studied me for a moment through the eye slits in his helmet. He was a sight to behold in that armour, which was grown rather than forged. I wondered if he realized how intimidating he looked. My words seemed to convince Nick and he sprung away.
Louis observed the melee around him, nodding in approval as another deadly spear of rebar narrowly missed a Ring member on its way to burying halfway into a car. The car’s alarm went off, blaring loudly.
I resisted the urge to try and pull free from the spear that had pierced my leg. The pain should have been more distracting, but Louis’ power was dulling my senses, making me feel as though I was drunk. It allowed his men to keep fighting with wild abandon, taking away their inhibitions as long as he was nearby.
I mustered up the air to shout over top of the chaos, “Louis! I’m not done talking to you.”
Louis laughed. “I imagine so, being stuck like that. It’s the only thing you can do. You were never a fighter, Graham.”
My lip curled as I said, “How could you use Rami like this?”
Louis glanced back towards the dilapidated clock tower. “See, now we’re getting into some familiar arguments, Graham. I don’t see what’s wrong with him using his gift.”
“He regressed to a dependent child, Louis. And I have no clue what the cognitive ramifications are of that thing growing out of him.”
Louis chuckled dryly. “I see the professor in you is still alive and well. Tell me. Do you actually care about Rami, or do you just want to write a peer-reviewed article about him?”
My anger boiled quickly, my brother had always had that effect on me. “You use him in warfare. Don’t question my intent when yours is plain to see.”
“I care for him!” Louis spread his arms to each side. “I gave him a home and a purpose. That’s more than you did.”
“I’ve heard the recruiters of child soldiers say similar things.”
Louis sighed. “Oh Graham. You would be much more convincing if you weren’t such a hypocrite. Last I checked, you have an actual child in your ranks.”
I clenched my fists. “Context is important. AJ’s circumstances would surprise you.”
“Fuck, Graham! What else is the man supposed to do with that thing sticking out of him?” Louis gestured angrily to the distant mall. “Stock grocery shelves? I would have thought the scholar would be all about a man finding purpose to fight against his ennui.”
I stood silently staring at Louis. Memories flashed behind my eyes with every blink. I didn’t often realize how heavy I felt, but this was one of those moments.
Louis sighed. “What I wouldn’t give to go back to simpler times, Graham. But some things can’t be undone. We have to live with this now.”
I spoke slowly. “I too wish to go back to simpler times. Back when you didn’t try to pronounce the word ennui.”
Louis barked out a laugh. “Hah! Who do you think I learned that from?” He turned away from me as a rumbling grew in the distance. “I’m just trying to teach you that you can’t change the past and you are definitely not changing the future of this city. There are larger forces at play. You should just get back to burying your nose in a book. Leave this self-inflicted crusade behind. It won’t do you any good.”
I watched Louis’ back sadly. “Tell Rami I said hello.”
It felt like a different lifetime, back when I still had my title of professor. I treasured each one of my memories from that time, not just because I was fond of them, but because they were precious reminders of my folly.
—
I shoved Louis into the storage closet angrily. We were at the university and I didn’t want to be seen having a surreptitious meeting with my criminal kin. It was only my second year of teaching at the school. I didn’t need the rumours. “I want you to stay away from Rami.” I jabbed an angry finger into Louis’ chest.
Louis looked casually around at the various pieces of science equipment. “Why Prof? His inquisitive mind is drawn to learning.”
“And yet he hasn’t realized that your mind is empty. Look at this!” I brandished the vial I had found on Louis’ person. “This is too professional to be a street drug and yet it has no labels, so it clearly isn’t a controlled substance. You have no idea what is in here and you dare peddle it to my students? You’re crossing a line you don’t want to cross, Louis. I could have you locked up. I thought I told you nothing hard!”
“Take it easy,” Louis said, raising his hands placatingly. “This is me. I’m your brother, remember? I try the shit I sell. This stuff is recreational to the max. Nothing hard about it. I’m not sure it even classifies as a psychedelic.”
I frowned. “Then why were you so excited about it?”
Louis’ smile widened. “I’ve never felt anything like it, bro. It literally makes you feel like you’ve never felt before. The emotions you feel right now, any emotion? It’s nothing. A drop. This is like having the whole ocean to yourself. And I felt fine afterwards.”
I didn’t let it show on my face, but I was intrigued. Was this a good idea? My mind had been somewhat foggy recently, perhaps it was the stress from the rapidly approaching midterms. I closed my fingers around the vial.
“Hey!” Louis protested.
I held up a finger. “I will be the judge of this. You are not to sell a drop until I ensure what you’re saying is true.” I searched for the doorknob to the closet door. Instead my blind probing knocked a microscope to the ground and I cursed as I stooped to pick it up. “Why am I always so clumsy when you’re around?”
—
“No… No! No! No!”
Lara scratched at her arms, trying to scrape away the dark bristly fur that had sprouted there. “This can’t be real!” she screamed. I covered her mouth, peering out into the dark trees.
I could hear Rami sobbing somewhere close by. I tried to stay alert, peering into the trees. Where had that thing gone? This was a nightmare. It was the kind of dream where you’re struggling to keep your eyes open. Everything was blurry. I swayed and then leaned heavily on the tree next to me. I felt so heavy, like the earth was dragging me down.
Louis lay nearby, the leaves soaking up his blood. He was still alive, his frightened stare was the only thing that pierced the haze around Graham’s mind.
“Emily? Rami?” I muttered. “Where are you?”
Rami only cried in response. I need to protect my students. The thought bounced around in my mind, hitting other thoughts I somehow couldn’t bring to the front of my consciousness. So many missing pieces. I was in the forest, just outside of the university. I had come here because… Louis had called me here. Why? Louis had sounded so panicked on the phone.
I finally spotted the movement of a dark shape, huddled behind a tree. Releasing Lara, she sank to her knees, sobbing silently.
“Rami?” I called out as I approached cautiously. There was still something dangerous in this forest. I had felt it move past me in the dark and hurt Louis.
As I got closer, I recognized the shape of Rami’s turban. He was lying face down behind the tree, covering his face and sobbing wretchedly. I relaxed as I neared the tree. “Rami, it’s alright. You’re safe. I’ll protect you-”
I coughed. Something had caught me in the chest and stopped my movement. My eyes drifted down to see something protruding from my stomach. A branch? Warm fluid bubbled up my throat. My bleary eyes followed the branch up to its origin point. A shadowy humanoid figure was holding the branch. It had long sinewy arms and shoulder blades that rose past its head. The face was frightening, two eyes jittered fiercely on a plane with no nose and a mouth with no teeth. This thing was protruding from Rami’s back, as if Rami was a fine bed of soil for it to sprout out of.
“I’m so scared,” Rami whispered. “I can’t take it. I’m going to go crazy.”
I coughed again and felt the warm liquid flow past my lips. I wanted to comfort Rami, to tell him that in just a few moments, he would be back in class with that brilliant smile and his wonderful eagerness that pushed me to try my hardest each and every day. But I could taste nothing but salty iron.
Just beyond Rami, something slithered through the trees. It had the silhouette of a giant snake, but somehow more angular and sharply ridged.
I grunted and slowly pushed myself away from Rami’s new form and the makeshift weapon it held. Strangely, I found that the wound did not slow me down. I reached up and tightened my tie, which had slipped loose in the conflict. My rationality began to pierce the haze. All was not lost. I would find my students, in whatever shape they may be in. It was my duty. My body felt heavy, heavier than it had ever been before.
I would later come to accept that this weight would never lift.