WnW 4.1

We sat on a bench at the entrance of the doctor’s house. “You can’t stay the whole night,” she had said while lighting a cigarette. “Get warm and then get out.” 

Nell’s head felt plenty warm where it rested against my shoulder. I was hyper aware of how close we were and this time it wasn’t the hunger’s fault. Whenever someone was this close to me, there was this buzz. Not a singular sensation, more like T.V. static in my brain. It made it hard to think as my focus continually returned to the touch. That and my throbbing headache made thinking about what came next nearly impossible.

I could tell Nell wasn’t asleep, her emotions pressed against me too. Relief and worry mixed into an uneasy rest. It made me wonder what it would feel like if she did sleep. Would I experience her dreams?

A fresh wave of pain came and my eyelids fluttered. A pair of shoes stopped in front of me. When I raised my head, there wasn’t anyone there.

“I think I might be going crazy…” I murmured.

“Mm?”

“I keep seeing something that isn’t there. Before, while you were getting your arm set, I saw the man who became that Aberrant.”

Nell remained where she was for a moment, then raised her head to look at me. “You haven’t eaten an entire person before. There might be some side effects.”

I put my head in my hands. “Cannibalism has side effects. That’s essentially what I did, isn’t it?”

“I doubt it’s the same.”

“And we can’t even ask the one Wolf we know about it because he’s a selfish bastard.”

Nell pulled my shirt towards her and the flower on my shoulder sprung up through the neck hole. The petals were long and droopy, with a tinge of blue at the tips. She touched one of the petals and I flinched, feeling her finger.

The petals began to turn green and textured and the smell of peppermint wafted over me.

“I can help a bit with the headache but I think we should see where this goes,” Nell said.

“That implies I have a choice,” I said.

Nell flicked the plant and I jerked away from her, frowning as I pulled my shirt back over it. “Well, I could knock you out,” she said. “Make you have nice dreams. But I think we should wait. Call it a hunch.”

Nell looked startled for a moment, before she took out her phone. It was buzzing and the caller ID said Kay. Her thumb hovered over the answer button and she raised an eyebrow at me. “You wanna walk home in the rain?”

“I suppose not.”

Nell answered and put the phone on speaker.

“Hi Kay,” she said.

“Hey Nell,” Kay said, sounding like she hadn’t slept. “Listen, I’ll be upfront and say that I saw you and Nick downtown last night, you passed by the arcade I was at. And I don’t want to pry, but I noticed you hadn’t come home yet so I just wanted to check in and…” she trailed off.

“We’re okay,” Nell said. “Just a little bruised and battered. We could use a ride?”

“Say the word and I’m there.”

After giving Kay the address of a nearby gas station, we walked over and waited for her. Nell chewed on a stick of gas station jerky. She waved it in front of me but I just shook my head. 

“At the moment I’m hoping I never have to eat again.”

“He tasted that good, huh?”

“Not funny,” I snapped.

Nell dropped her arm to her side. “Sorry. I…”

I just took a shuddering breath and let it out as I leaned against a cage filled with propane tanks.

I managed to push the words past the lump in my throat, “I just don’t feel very human at the moment.”

“I kind of lost it when the bugs showed up,” Nell said. “I was so confident that I could handle whatever Organ threw at me, just to immediately lose that control. You kept your cool when I didn’t. That’s the only reason we got out of there. So human or not, I’m really grateful that you’re by my side.”

The lights of the gas station made the puddles look like they were full of glowing neon.

“And I wouldn’t have survived the Tongue if you hadn’t dealt with the bugs so quickly. We make a good team,” I said. 

Nell made a face of disgust. “The Tongue?”

I gave her a small grin. “Yeah, and I’ve been calling the bugs Arachknights in my head.”

“That makes them sound too badass.”

I laughed even though it made my head hurt. “If they were in one of the comic books I read as a kid, I would’ve thought they were hella badass.”

Nell’s eyes lit up. “Oooh. I’ve only read one comic. Have you read Slide?”

“Ugh. I wish I hadn’t. I was too young and had an overactive imagination. The Polyclown gave me nightmares for weeks.”

“What? I just thought it was funny the way it got all tangled up in the jungle gym.”

“You know they have comics at the library.”

“Mm.” Nell had stepped closer to me, clutching her snack tightly.

“What’s up?”

“I really want to hug you.”

My brain didn’t know how to parse that information. I just froze. Nell’s hair had sprung up in spite of the rain, a water drop gathering on a curl, waiting to fall on her nose. 

What was she thinking? She hadn’t had a normal human connection for her whole life. It made sense that she wanted to have some physical comfort. Why did I have to make this a big deal? I could just help her. 

Nell recognized my hesitancy and took a step back, casting her eyes downwards and withdrawing her emotion. 

I wanted to say something but couldn’t find my voice. Hugging had always been done to me. Arms squeezing around me because they wanted comfort. So why did I feel guilty? Was it because I didn’t want to? Or was it that feeling of guilt that made me refuse, believing that I didn’t deserve it?

It was messy and my brain was mush.

Headlights swept across the store front as a car pulled into the gas station and came to a halt. Kay peered past the streaks left by the windshield wipers. 

Nell and I silently climbed into the back of the car.

Kay eyed Nell’s cast. “I thought you said you were okay?”

Nell just looked out the window.

“Nick? Hello?” Kay said, exasperated. “Am I going to get any explanation?”

I rubbed my forehead. “We went to Old Town. Nell got hurt. Yes,” I said, cutting Kay off as she opened her mouth, “it was stupid to go. We thought we were prepared. That turned out to be very untrue.”

Kay’s eyebrows narrowed suspiciously. “That is the most succinct and bullshit summary I have ever heard. You should apply that to your note-taking in class.”

There was no way I was going to university tomorrow. This headache felt impossible to shake. Just beyond a street light, I spotted him again, shrouded in the dark except for his sneakers. What do you want?

“Nell, do you have anything to add?” Kay asked.

“Nick’s a cannibal.”

“Oh…” Kay raised an eyebrow at me in the rearview mirror.

“Nell,” I said. 

She took her time turning around to look at me with hurt in her eyes.

“Do you want to try coming to university with me sometime? You could audit some classes.”

The beef jerky rolled on the seat between us as Kay took a turn.

“I don’t know… You might start eating people,” Nell snarked.

“This connection thing is a pain. I’m going to need a straight answer.”

Nell’s hand settled over the jerky. “Yes. Please.”

“You sure? Aren’t you scared I’ll eat you?”

Nell ripped off a piece with her teeth. “Nah. You’re harmless.”

I rested my hand between us, palm up. An invitation. I just hoped she got the message. I’m not running from you. Can you meet me halfway?

She took it and I felt her happiness like a beam of light that traveled through her fingers into my arm.

Kay made an exasperated noise. “Fine then. Keep your secrets. But if I find out you guys are in a cult then I’m gonna roll this car.”

“You know how to do that?” Nell asked curiously.

Kay gave Nell a devilish grin. “I’m practically an expert. This isn’t the first car my dad’s given me. Or the second.”

“Home safely please,” I said weakly. “I need to lie down.”

Kay obliged and dropped me off in front of my house. The windows were dark except for the glow of a lamp that my mom kept on in the living room. I peered through the rain, spotting someone waiting for me on the front steps. 

Approaching, I shielded my eyes from the downpour with an arm. “Mom?” I called out. “Sorry, I should have called you. Don’t worry, everything is fi-” I stopped as I realized who it was. Dark shaggy hair parted neatly to the side of his face. It was the ghost. But he wasn’t pale or translucent. He stood casually with his hands in his pockets, his clothes well maintained. He didn’t look like how he did when he was part of the Tongue. He looked normal, relaxed.

“You’re dead,” I said aloud. It was a fact, plain and simple. People didn’t resurrect. Not even now with the rules of the world seemingly changed.

My knees felt weak as he responded, “He is.”

In disbelief, I asked, “So are you a ghost?”

“Kind of. Come on,” he beckoned me towards the door. “You’re getting soaked again.”

I looked back. Kay had already driven off. I hesitantly made the last few steps to the door. He let me pass him by. Placing a hand on the doorknob, I looked down at his sneakers, suddenly ashamed. “What was your name?”

“His name was Omar.”

I nodded and stepped quietly inside. When I turned around to see if he was coming in, Omar had vanished.

“Nick?” A voice said sleepily from the hallway.

My mom came to the door, dressed in her pajamas. “I heard you talking. What are you doing awake?” Then her eyes fully took in my appearance and she frowned. “Those aren’t your clothes.”