WnW 3.14

The last few rays of sunlight were dying over the rooftops of the suburbs as I arrived around the corner from Kay’s place. I stretched my arms over my head, feeling the heft of the backpack around my shoulders. This time it was filled with tools that could potentially get us into Dad’s old workplace: gloves, hammer, bolt cutters, and some metal wire I could use to pick locks if needed. It somehow felt like bad luck to bring another backpack into the Old Town but I didn’t really have a choice. Besides, I doubted any opportunistic mugger would get the better of me now.

Nell came down the sidewalk, looking eager. “You didn’t have to stay out of sight, Kay’s out of the house right now.”

“You’re cool with not telling her about this?” I asked.

Nell looked up as the streetlights flickered on above us. The pale light gave her messy hair a halo. “It’s better if she doesn’t know.”

I agreed. Kay had shown interest in the secrets we kept, but unlike with my similar dispute with Mac, she hadn’t crossed that threshold. I was in too deep to back out, with my body and mind altered in an irreversible way but she could still live normally. It was best if we kept our distance.

“Do you still want to come?” I asked. “Don’t force yourself.”

Nell’s emotion synced up with mine, a powerful affirmation. “Are you kidding? I’ve been waiting for this all day.”

We started out and I pointed northeast to the barely visible cliff face that looked like a giant shadowy creature towering over brightly lit skyscrapers. “It’s a long walk,” I warned. Nell shrugged, her mood getting happier with every step we took.

“So I have a problem with the Locust Legs,” I said, extending a hand in front of me. An antler emerged, breaking the skin without a drop of blood. “I want to make the antlers stronger, they don’t stand up under much force. It’s a little better when I weave them together, but I can’t seem to will them to get any stronger individually. Alek said that they were hollow, but I can’t seem to fill them in.”

Nell nodded. “There’s a couple routes we could take. But filling them in has some drawbacks.”

“Such as?”

“I suspect that when the antlers emerge initially they do have some inner material, but I think that gets reabsorbed quite quickly back into your body. It allows you to make a lot of them without it being too taxing on your energy.”

“Could we change the material they’re made of?”

Nell nodded. “I was thinking the same thing. It would take some testing, but I think I could add some chitin to the composition without ruining the flexibility. But there’s one other way to improve the strength. I’m thinking it will come naturally to you.”

“What’s that?”

Nell pinched her fingers together. “Focus on making the antlers smaller. The more you weave together, the more resilience it will have. Especially if you experiment with what structural patterns work best.”

After half an hour of walking, we’d made it to the downtown of Sillwood. Nell’s pace had been gradually slowing, yet when she saw the neon colours flashing above our heads and the bustle of night activity around us it seemed to renew her energy. 

The streets were packed with pedestrians, many of whom were in costumes inspired by recent and beloved pop culture. There must have been a convention going on. Nell stared at a hulking shirtless man who wore a mask and was carrying a fake club that was as tall as him. 

Casinos, arcades, restaurants and bars were all tightly packed into this space, fighting for attention with flashy signs and pulsing music. Laughter and conversation drowned out everything except the bass beats that vibrated in my chest. It wasn’t uncommon to hear all sorts of languages here, as Sillwood was culturally diverse and attracted tourists from all over. People would go to conventions during the day and then at night they would spill out onto the streets looking for ways to have fun in the dark. 

Some schoolgirls walked out of an arcade holding prizes. The sign of the business was a violently colourful cartoon character. Gaming with friends at an arcade was more of a draw for me than casinos. I eyed a woman who was standing outside one such gambling den, looking into her purse with a glazed over expression. It was too common to see people take it too far and become vulnerable to the savvy criminals that preyed on those looking for a way out of whatever struggles they were facing. Drugs and sex work could be harmless, but for many it was a one way trip.

Nell and I stopped to let a large group of convention goers pass. One of them locked eyes with me and said something. I couldn’t make it out over the din of the crowd. She was wearing a revealing outfit from a popular anime. I just looked away and she moved on.

Once they had passed, we kept going until we had to stop along a wide road where a procession of expensive looking custom cars were driving slowly past.

“Why do you do that?” she asked.

“What?”

There was a sleek sports car covered in custom decals. The rims were wide and flat, with holograms of dancing animals projected on them.

Neon lights flowed across Nell’s face. “You stare at strangers sometimes and give off this weird feeling. I don’t understand it.”

My face felt hot. “I’d prefer it if you didn’t.”

“It’s not like lust or admiration. It’s… melancholy.”

“Nell.”

“Fine,” she said, turning back to the road as a car revved loudly and some people cheered. “I’m just trying to understand you better. Is that really a bad thing?”

The crossing light went on and we walked across as the cars honked with customized horns that played songs or sound effects. How am I supposed to explain it to you if I don’t understand it either?

“What about you?” I said defensively. “You seem to be getting a lot of my emotions, but often I feel like I’m not getting much from you.”

Nell didn’t respond for a moment. I couldn’t read her face in the meagre light. “I don’t know. Maybe it doesn’t work the same way for Wolves.”

I got the feeling that Nell was lying, but I would be fair and not push further. The traffic light turned green behind us and tires squealed as the cars peeled away. A siren whooped. Red and blue lights reflected off the buildings around us as a cop car gave chase.

“Hey, is university fun?” Nell asked as we left the rowdiest part of downtown.

I thought about it. “I think you would like it. Although your level of understanding of biology is probably higher than what they teach there.”

“But you’re not having fun?”

I glanced down an alleyway, seeing figments of my imagination in the dark. “I do like learning, but it feels like everyone there has a goal in mind, they have their life path figured out. I don’t. Not in the slightest.”

“What path is there for us?” Nell wondered aloud. “I love Shaping but there’s no job for it. If people truly knew us, we would be shunned.”

“Not by everyone,” I said, thinking of Kay.

“Everyone has a limit,” Nell said, turning to look me in the eyes. “A point where their expressions turn to fear and disgust when you show what you truly are. It doesn’t matter how many times you see it… It hurts.”

We stopped in front of the blockade of tall, imposing cement barricades. A sign read “Only authorized personnel beyond this point”. Another yellow caution sign depicted falling rocks. 

I looked at Nell. “Last chance to back out.”

She frowned. “No way I’m letting you go alone. You’re not very good at Shaping yet.”

“I’m leagues better than I was at the start,” I protested.

“Mm.” Her expression became distant.

“So you’re sure you want to go back to a place where you were held captive? Not going to trigger any trauma?”

Nell shook her head. “No problem here, although,” her expression darkened, “it better be truly abandoned. Anyone left isn’t going to have a good night.”

We squeezed through the gap between the barricades and headed into the darkness. No streetlights would lead the way here.